Home Sharing with Amy Appleton

In this episode of Decluttering 55+, host Michelle Passoff discusses the growing trend of shared housing as a viable option for seniors and others seeking affordable living arrangements. Joined by Amy Appleton from the National Shared Housing Resource Center, they explore the benefits of home sharing, the process involved, and the importance of companionship and intergenerational living. The conversation also touches on financial aspects, conflict resolution, and success stories that highlight the positive impact of shared housing on individuals' lives.

Takeaways

-Shared housing is a growing trend for affordable living.
-The National Shared Housing Resource Center connects nonprofits offering home share programs.
-Home sharing can provide companionship and support for seniors.
-Intergenerational living fosters relationships between older adults and younger individuals.
-Financial arrangements can vary, with some agencies charging placement fees.
-Screening processes are crucial for ensuring safety in home sharing.
-Month-to-month rental agreements are recommended for flexibility.
-Conflict resolution strategies are essential in shared living situations.
-Success stories demonstrate the positive impact of shared housing on well-being.
-Community resources can help individuals find suitable home sharing options.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Shared Housing
01:28 Understanding the National Shared Housing Resource Center
04:30 The Home Sharing Process
07:31 Intergenerational Living Benefits
11:09 Financial Aspects of Home Sharing
14:11 Conflict Resolution in Shared Housing
17:17 Success Stories and Conclusion

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Transcript

Michelle 0:35

Welcome! My name is Michelle Passoff, and this is another episode of Decluttering 55 Plus with Michelle Passoff. This is where we bring together authors, experts, authorities, and geeks and everyday people to talk about subjects that can be confounding or confronting as we age, and therefore it's clutter. And the idea here is to see if we can have a conversation to straighten things out, to try to learn something new, discover new resources, get inspired to get in action and get things done. Next level clutter categories include health, fitness, eating right, and it also includes subjects like memoir writing, digital decluttering, social relationships, deciding what you're gonna do in retirement, getting your financial and legal papers in order, and also even funeral arrangements. One of the topics we also discover is where are you gonna live next? And you might think that home sharing is only for the students and young people, but in more and more and more older people are finding that it's a great way to find a place to live or to give a place to live or to even donate to this new home sharing movement. So we've decided to invite Amy Appleton, who is co-president of the National Shared Housing Resource Center, located out of Sonoma County, California, to talk to us about this as an option if you're considering what's your living situation going to be next. So I want to welcome Amy. Welcome, Amy. Um tell us what the National Shared Housing Resource Center is.

Amy 2:22

Well, thank you, Michelle. Um I'm very happy to be here. Um so National Shared Housing Resource Center is basically a network of various nonprofits throughout the um United States that um are interested or have it are focused on um having a home share program. Um the the um there's about um 50 different home share programs at this time that are part of this network. And there at this time there is a membership fee of a hundred dollars, and for that um you have a lot of support, um, folks who will answer any questions, um, provide you documentation. There's always you know different types of documents that are required when you are matching two folks to live together.

Michelle 3:13

So the home sharing service um goes to about 18 different states, if I understand, is that correct? That is so if you're looking for a place to stay or you're looking to give a place to stay, you would join this network by going to the Home Shared Resource Center, paying a fee, and then it would hook you up with these resources. Is that correct?

Amy 3:36

Uh actually, this is for this this um National Shared Housing Resource Center is specifically for the nonprofits that are um funded to operate to offer home sharing services.

Michelle 3:51

So if I want to find a place to stay or give a place to stay, I don't plan membership or I do?

Amy 3:57

You do not.

Michelle 3:58

You do not have to pay anything. No, okay, but it can help you um match you up with somebody who um match you up with somebody who offers houses a place to stay.

Amy 4:10

So what this does is the program directory will show you state by state all the nonprofits that have home share programs near you and perhaps even in your community. And that would be your first step would be to get on the website and look up the the states, and if there is something, I know that there's, for example, Michelle, you're in Florida. Right now we have three different nonprofit members in the National Shared Housing Resource Center that have paid their membership dues. We yeah, so this is specifically for the organizations that are offering.

Michelle 4:48

If you want to be an organization and you are an organization and you want to tap into the um shared housing resource center, then you pay. If you want to either offer housing or get housing, it's a free service.

Amy 5:04

Um, you know, different agencies, well, some charge just a, you know, we do have um administrative costs or fees, you know, that are associated with matching. Some agencies do um have a placement fee, maybe it's a hundred dollars, whatever. Um, and then some agencies actually do a month-to-month fee to sustain for the administrative costs that are associated with that match.

Michelle 5:30

So the best thing to do is to find the national, to find the resource home sharing resource network um near you and find out what their policies are. What is um what is an agency going to do for you? Who why do you go to one of these um uh home sharing network agencies? Why would you go there?

Amy 5:53

If you are a person who has an empty bedroom or you are somebody who needs affordable housing, by going to that agency, which really is is a helping you broker housing, they're going to match you with someone who has an available room. Maybe it's an empty bedroom, it could even be a unit on the property, whatever that housing looks like. So they would facilitate that placement, that match, interview you, talk with you to figure out what your needs are if you are looking for housing. And if you are you have housing to offer, do you want do you need financially are you needing rent, uh rental income, or are you just needing a little help around the house, or maybe you just need companionship because you're lonely?

Michelle 6:45

So that's uh that's uh a good service because um, you know, you may have stopped working and you could use that extra income, and having a roommate could also not only give you the income but give you the opportunity to have the companionship. If you need a ride to the doctor, you need some grocery shopping, or you need some help cleaning. Um, so this is not is this intergenerational? Are you rooming with somebody who is your age? How does that work?

Amy 7:14

Well, it absolutely is intergenerational. Um, my community has two colleges, and so we love it when a student reaches out to us because they need affordable housing, and we would match them. Typically, the folks who are offering housing are 65 years and older. And um, most of the folks that come to us in gen generally speaking are likely in their 50s, 60s, um, but just simply cannot afford to rent their own unit. And then there are college students. So if we every chance we can to match that young person who just needs really a place to stay and call home with an older person, it's a lovely process because you know, so a younger person, this you know, I've I've seen it personally where that they become their grandmother or their grandfather, and this wonderful bond uh comes out of that placement.

Michelle 8:12

Yeah, younger people can learn responsibility and older people can uh kind of come alive with younger blood around in the world.

Amy 8:20

Yeah, it's quite possible this is their first um their their first experience as a tenant.

Michelle 8:28

Exactly, exactly. How much does something like that cost ordinarily? Is there an average for how much it would cost to rent a room or provide services?

Amy 8:38

So, in um to the actual placement fee, some agencies do offer, you know, ask for a placement fee and some do not. Um, it is a minority of those agencies which would um you know want to have a placement fee to facilitate the match. For the tenant who is renting that room, uh 10 years ago you could rent a room in my community for $450. Now it's $800, $900 just for a bedroom with a shared bathroom. If you want, God forbid, your own um you know, bat bedroom with a private bath, you're looking at a thousand or more.

Michelle 9:17

It's unbelievable, it's unbelievable. So some of that cost can be defrayed by uh offering services. What kind of uh the services that I mentioned, like giving people rides to doctors or going grocery shopping or uh and simple companionship, having meals together.

Amy 9:37

And you know, because we're dealing with people, every single match is unique and different. Everyone's needed.

Michelle 9:44

Are those made electronically? Do you fill out you fill out an application that how do they match you up?

Amy 9:50

Well, you need to make that initial call to the agency. If there is not an agency in your community and there is a senior center, I would that would be my first step, would be to reach out to a senior center to see if they have no vending rooms that are available. Um some folks do get on Craigslist or other different internet-based websites. Younger people tend to. Uh older people are don't trust that process because they don't know how, you know, sometimes folks do not know how to screen or simply are not good at good at it. So when they folks come to an agency or a third party really who's facilitating that match, that agency has already screened both the provider, the person offering housing, as well as the seekers. For our agency, the person who's looking for housing comes into our offices and complete our application. We've already gone to the person offering the housing. We've met with him or her. And oftentimes that's a two or three hour process just to really get a sense of what that person needs and is offering.

Michelle 10:59

So they verify um whether or not the person who would be the renter is um a safe bet for a criminal background.

Amy 11:10

Uh we even have a database with the driver, uh, the um Department of Motor Vehicles to just see if there's been any, you know, anything, any history that way. But we uh we subscribe to a nationwide database, which is very extensive. And then there's online screening tools like Megan's Law, National Sex Offender Registry, so all these different um online tools that are that don't cost anything and that are available. So we we are very careful with screening.

Michelle 11:42

Is the rents that are paid paid directly to the owner or are they paid through the agency?

Amy 11:47

Very good question. They're paid directly to the owner.

Michelle 11:51

Okay.

Amy 11:52

And we've facilitated that. You know, how do you want the money to be paid? Even sometimes it's Venmo now because you know, folks are getting a little more tech savvy.

Michelle 12:01

Yes.

Amy 12:01

But really, that the biggest hurdle for making a placement or a match is to make sure that the folks feel safe because each party is literally talking or meeting a stranger. So that process is very, very, very sensitive.

Michelle 12:19

So for those of us just joining us, we're talking about uh the whole uprising uprising of um shared housing as a possibility for a next step in terms of your uh housing situation. Uh do people have leases um in these situations, Amy?

Amy 12:39

Yes. Um there is we recommend a month-to-month rental agreement. And even if you're only it's it's fully providing services and in lieu of rent, we still want to have some sort of a tenant agreement with the actual services identified in an attachment to the rental agreement so that everyone is on the same page, everyone understands what is being exchanged, and then what constant, you know, continual monitorization and support of services once they've moved in to make sure that you know people get complacent. So you have to, you know, make sure that everyone's doing what they're supposed to do.

Michelle 13:21

And will the person from the home sharing agency um help with the negotiation of all this until it's complete? Or do you um do they provide the documents that will enable uh the agreement to be made?

Amy 13:35

Typically the agency provides those documents. And the other thing that we have to consider is that some of our folks who are offering the housing might have some um vulnerabilities around cognitive decline. Every chance you can to bring in all that support system for that person, whether it's you know, family, friends, even a church leader, whatever their support system looks like, to encourage that they're part of that process. I see. A lot of our clients are in cognitive decline and very vulnerable because of it, and eat ripe for you know being taken advantage of. So we have to do that.

Michelle 14:13

Yeah, you certainly uh you certainly want to avoid that, which is a good reason to go to an agency and not just do it on your own in the first place.

Amy 14:21

Michelle, that's you know, we I really appreciate your saying that because we often will get a person who calls and says, Well, I got this person off Craigslist and Mit, you know, it didn't work out, and I'm just they're they're gone, thankfully, blah, blah, blah. Or sometimes we have to help them remove that person.

Michelle 14:39

You know, if there's a problem with a tenant or there's a problem with the owner, do these people go to can the um agency negoti help negotiate and solve those problems?

Amy 14:50

Yeah, there, you know, in our agreements, the very first page talks about conflict resolution. So the very moment you, the two of you who are living together, and you know, if you've been together for a month, well, you're still in that hot honeymoon phase, you know, period. But at some point there's gonna be a time where you're like you you start seeing people's weaknesses or things start to bug you. So it there could be conflict. Typically, you know, over time it resolves itself, but we encourage people the very moment there's the inkling or seed of a problem to communicate about it or reach out to us to help facilitate resolution.

Michelle 15:33

We've tried to I understand this is a um growing, growing uh trend uh these days. So if you haven't already thought of the possibility of sharing your home, you could do that and you can get help to uh negotiate the leases, negotiate how the rents is paid, um, negotiate if there comes to be a problem. Do you have any success stories um at the tip of your fingers of how this has worked for somebody?

Amy 15:59

One of the things, um, so no about 80% of our matches, we do we did 87 this calendar 2025, 87 matches. It doesn't sound like a lot, but in reality it is for the home share world. Um one of our clients, we we have two clients who are in their hundreds, and both of them have stabilized because there's somebody in the house, they're no longer alone, they're getting better nutrition meals and getting out, they're not homeward, you know, housebound anymore. Um we have a lady um that is in one of these senior retirement big developments, and for for a very long time, she had her TV on a low grade, just constantly because she was lonely. And so when I matched her with a gentleman who was able to take her to synagogue, you know, get her back out into getting back to her community at some point, maybe maybe three months into that match, they're still together, and this is a couple of years ago. She calls and she called me and said, Guess what? And I said, What? She said, I turned the TV off.

Michelle 17:09

Yeah, you know, I I was really surprised in the uh research that I did for the book I'm just wrapping up. Uh, I was very surprised to learn that uh social relationships are as important as what you eat and if you exercise to your long-term health and well-being. So, you know, it can't be underestimated. But it's not only about money, and it's not only about somebody giving you a ride somewhere, that um interaction over a meal or sharing a TV program together or you know, taking a walk together and getting out is um it's not a blood, you're not obliged to do that. But um, when you're living with somebody, it could lead to that. So it's very comforting to know that um, you know, you're not behind closed curtains on a lounge chair by yourself in front of the TV.

Amy 17:56

Perfect, Michelle. And the and some, you know, to some extent, people don't realize how lonely they actually are until you bring somebody into the house and you're like, wow, I was really lonely, and and now I'm thriving.

Michelle 18:11

So um if people want to get in touch, if people want to get in touch with you or um somebody who's associated who can help them hook up with the right home sharing organization in their town or their city, um, you said that they can write you directly. Is that right, Amy?

Amy 18:30

Yeah, they can they can uh write me directly with my email, which is Amy AMY at share sonoma county.org.

Michelle 18:40

Or they can Amy at shared sonoma county.org. Amy is offering for all the listeners on this program to speak with you directly. Um, or they can go to what the national um sharedhousing.org website, www.national sharedhousing.org.

Amy 19:04

And look up the program directory, which is there, and and look in your state to see if there's something available. If there isn't, I'm in California, so you can look up my program and I'll be happy to help uh help uh provide any resources, direct you any way I can.

Michelle 19:20

And that's Amy at um share sonoma county.org.

Amy 19:27

That's s-h a r-e sonoma s o-n-o-m-a county dot org.org.

Michelle 19:33

Yeah, what a nice thing. Okay, so um that's about all we have time for today. So I want to thank you for taking time from uh all the matching of uh people with one another that you're doing out there and around the country. And um I welcome you to come back another time and speak more about it. In the meantime, uh you know that one of the pillars of being clutter-free is to be in action. So if you heard something today that can uh has a light bulb go off in your head and you see the opportunity to either offer housing or to get housing through one of these um shared housing organizations, please get in touch with Amy, get in touch with the uh www.nationalsharedhousing.org and um you know brighten up your life. So um thank you all for coming today. If you've uh heard something today that sparked your interest, please keep tuning in at uh decluttering55plus, decluttering55 plus with Michelle Passoff on YouTube or your Apple Podcasts. You can go to our website at www.decluttering55.55plus because they don't put the plus uh on the internet, so it's decluttering55plus.com. Sign up on our let's connect button and send us a note. Let us know if you are a home sharer and how that's gone for you, or if you've been a tenant in a home share situation. I'd love to hear your story and we can get back on and tell everybody about this option available to them. Um check out my book too. I have a book called WW, um it's called Wisdoms to Decluttering 55 Plus, uh, Wisdoms to Create a Legacy, not a mess, and you can find it on Amazon or you can go to layitflat.com and you can keep it on a desktop and flip it to any page, um, and it will give you a prompt to get in action and get things done in some area of next level clutter. But when you're free and you're open and you're in action, you will be invigorated, and that's the whole point. It's not your um mother's retirement. This is a new age of being active and invigorated as the years go by. So please tune in again and between now and then. Have a clutter free day. Thank you for coming, everybody.

Amy 22:03

Thank you.